It's better if I just don't know where you're calling from...

Automated messages are the best.

There's a lot of mixed messaging here...

There's nothing better than some trusty catch-all language...

I've touched everything in my office and none of it sparks joy...

This is my form of meditation...

You never know when that random ostrich fact might be helpful at a networking event...

Oh, you want full credit? Even though I did all the work... Okay, I suppose that seems fair... 😭

*leaps behind table*