It's better if I just don't know where you're calling from...

Automated messages are the best.

Just gotta keep that status in the green...

I've touched everything in my office and none of it sparks joy...

Oh, you want full credit? Even though I did all the work... Okay, I suppose that seems fair... 😭

*leaps behind table*

Let me just blast the entire firm about this one...

With the power of alcohol, my typing speed goes down to .00001 wpm!

Huh? Last week when I was sobbing under my desk? I don't remember...