Oh great... Thanks...

If you think you're happy when a meeting is postponed, wait till it's cancelled...

It's better if I just don't know where you're calling from...

Automated messages are the best.

There's a lot of mixed messaging here...

There's nothing better than some trusty catch-all language...

Just gotta keep that status in the green...

I've touched everything in my office and none of it sparks joy...

This is my form of meditation...